The father of a student killed in the 1999 Taber school shooting said the pain facing families of the eight victims in the recent Tumbler Ridge, B.C., shooting is not something he would wish on anyone.
Dale Lang, whose son Jason Lang was shot and killed at W.R. Myers High School in Taber, Alta., said he and his family understand what the families and community are going through.
“There really isn’t anything that anybody can say. You can’t have magic words that are going to make everything better for people, but when people show up and support you and give you a hug and say they care, it eases the pain.”
Lang said it is a tough situation and while communities often rally in the immediate aftermath of tragedy, families will need support long after public attention fades.
“It’s the kind of thing that parents always are looking after their children, trying to watch out for them and help them and fix things that go wrong, and in a case like this, of course, you can’t change anything, which is very difficult for parents to face, and of course, it’s extremely painful.”
Lang said small towns can feel immune to the kind of violence often associated with larger cities.
“This lets us know that it can happen anywhere,” he said.
Days after the 1999 shooting in Taber, Lang said he and his wife Diane held a memorial service inside the high school and returned when classes resumed to welcome students back.
“Kids were very afraid to go back into their school. They were very nervous about it, and it was not an easy time for any of them, really,” he said. “We just welcomed kids back to class, gave a lot of them a hug and stuff, and I think that was a really strong part of the healing that started for the school because kids were very afraid to go back into their school.”
In the years since, Lang said he and his wife have spoken with students who were there and reflected on that time.
Lang said he has received a number of requests over the years to speak at schools and community events. He said his message focuses on caring for one another and the power of forgiveness, which was central to his family’s healing.
“In our situation, God gave us the grace to forgive the boy who shot our son, and that was the beginning of a lot of healing for us,” he said. “People are justifiably angry and frustrated with such a situation, but it’s difficult not to get stuck in a place of being bitter and angry about that.”
“When God gave us the grace to say we forgive this boy, it changed life for us and for a lot of other folks.”
Throughout his speaking engagements, Lang said he has met many parents who lost children to violence, illness and accidents and found some remained “trapped in a very painful place.”
“Encouraging people to walk into a place where they can have the grace to forgive and to move on can make a huge difference.”
Asked what he would say to a political leader in the wake of another teen gaining access to guns, Lang said respect for others is fundamental.
“We need to be able to honour each other in life,” he said. “The integrity and the respect that we need to give to each other and show in our own lives would make a tremendous amount of difference.”
Lang said his hope for Tumbler Ridge is that the community continues to surround grieving families with care in the months and years ahead.
